The Hope Hangover (Why Optimism is Overrated)

Hope sounds holy, but it can secretly make life messier than it needs to be. When we train ourselves to expect the best case scenario all the time, we create a fragile emotional high and the crash that follows can feel like proof we are failing at healing, manifestation, and personal growth. I’m sharing a different path that has been changing my daily life: expecting the worst as a form of preparation, not pessimism.

I walk through what I call the optimism trap using real situations like getting calls from my child’s school, bedtime sleep disruptions, business launches that do not land, and the way family dynamics can still trigger us even after years of spiritual work. The pattern is simple: high expectations create a bigger fall, and that fall invites shame. Strategic expectation keeps us steady. It helps regulate the nervous system, reduces overwhelm, and turns “setbacks” into usable data instead of emotional disasters.

We also go deeper into trusting the higher self. When perfectionism and control run the show, even a tiny misstep can feel catastrophic. I talk about reframing mistakes as information and asking intuitive questions that reality-check the human perspective. If you are building a business, pursuing big goals, or doing deep healing work, this mindset creates emotional resilience and keeps you moving through the messy, necessary series of adjustments that real growth requires.

If this hits home, listen now, share it with a friend who needs a calmer approach to mindset and manifestation, and please subscribe and leave a review so more people can find the show (you'll get a free "thank you" gift if you screenshot the positive review and send to me).

What’s one area of your life where expecting bumps in the road would actually set you free?

Transcript

Welcome Back And Reset

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to Unveiled, the podcast. I'm your host, Angela Christian, and I help you with unveiling your true self by peeling away the layers that society placed on you. I do this with a combination of neuroscience, energetics, and ancient spiritual wisdom. I went from underpaid and overworked in corporate America to launching a six-figure company that continues to grow. I went from toxic relationships to being happy and single for over a year as I worked and continue to work on becoming the best version of myself and so much more. My greatest passion is to help women and mothers heal, transform, and become the highest versions of themselves. As I continue to grow and expand my intuitive knowledge and unique wisdom, I'll be including you on my journey to millions. So let's get into it. Hello and welcome back to Unveiled. Excited to be here with you guys. I took a little break last week because I had had a one-on-one with my mentor. And then for some reason, I always travel within a few days of my one-on-one, and I should know better by now. I think this was like the fourth time in a row that I did this, and traveling alone can make me a little discombobulated, but pair that with some heavy energy work. And yeah, wow. So excited to be back. I have some fun things to talk about today, mostly around this similar theme that I talked about in the Sunday source. If you listen to that, and just kind of something we've been touching on in my membership. And it's around like the spiritual lie that we've been sold inside the what I would call mainstream spiritual world. And it's the one that tells you to stay hopeful, to be optimistic, to expect and visualize the best scenario and manifest your dreams, right? But what if I told you that mindset is actually the very thing keeping you stuck? Because it is. And the secret to actually rapid growth and getting closer to your goals isn't hoping for the best, but it's actually expecting the worst. And I had someone ask me the other day, which was a great question. She said, Well, what's the difference between this and just being like a negative Nancy, like downer, right? Because I can totally get why that would be a concern. And it's not about being negative, it's about being strategic. And it's about taking your power back from the roller coaster of emotions and highs and lows that optimism and hope can actually create. So giving you a little personal story here, I realized I do a pretty good job with this on bigger scale things, but it's actually the day-to-day things where it was really throwing me off. And then it became this unfortunate and torturous roller coaster that I didn't even realize I was creating. Okay, so my son is brilliant and he is high energy. I often get calls from his school or teacher that he's not wanting to pay attention, all of those things, right? And so he's on a blend of homestead and going to school a couple days a week for the social aspect, all of that. What I was doing without even realizing it is every time I dropped him off, I would think, oop, today's gonna be a good day. He was in a good mood. Great, he's gonna have a good day, everything's gonna go well. That kind of hope puts you in a really like fragile high. Like you're thinking it's all gonna work out, it's great, and then boom, the drop, the phone call from the school. Or maybe it's the launch that flops, like you're thinking it's gonna be the best launch of your life, or maybe you're thinking, oh, I've changed so much the next time I'm around this person, I'm not gonna be triggered, right? And then because you're expecting the best and hoping, the fall from hope to the pit of disappointment is quite devastating. And during that free fall, shame creeps in, and you think, damn it, I reacted the wrong way again. After all the work I've done, I'm still that person, even though that's not true at all. That's just kind of how it works. So then the real pain isn't actually what we perceive as the setback, it's the gap between who you know you can be and the human who just reacted or the human who was hopeful again, right? And the more that you learn in the spiritual world, like the source truth, the bigger that gap feels. And then tell until pretty soon you're like me and you're helicopter watching failures, which I'm putting in quotation marks, and you're like, damn it, I should have known better, I should have done that, I should have done that, right? This is the optimism trap, and hope is what sets you up for that fall. So I have a solution. We're good. This is the solution I've been working on. So it's not pessimism, it's actually preparation. So we want to look at the situation. I'll give you a few examples. So dropping my son off at school, I just did this last week, so I can share you, share exactly what happened. I pulled up and I took him in, but before I even brought him to school, the whole drive to school, I was like, today's probably gonna be the same as always. I'm gonna get a call, so what can I do? Let me control the blast, right? Well, I'll just work down the street at this cafe. And that way I'm super close. When the teacher calls, says he's not listening. I can just go grab him. It'll be fine. And guess what? He actually had the best day he's had. Uh, another example would be he wakes up at midnight almost every single night, which is my reflection that I haven't resolved yet. But I was finding that each night I was going to bed thinking, okay, maybe I'll get some sleep tonight. Maybe he won't wake me up. I fed him high protein, I read to him, made him go to the bathroom, all of these things, right? Then sure enough, at midnight he'd come wake me up. So what I do now is I get into bed and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go to bed a little early because I know he's gonna come wake me up at midnight. Sure enough, he'll wake me up, but you know what? I'm not frustrated. And it's actually kind of cute to watch him like sleepwalk in here. It just completely shifted the way that I looked at the whole situation. As another example, maybe you're launching a new program or a new course or some kind of offer, and you're like, this is it, this is gonna be the best course I've ever done. You're so excited about it, and then no one signs up, right? And that's not because it's a horrible course, it could be a lot of things, but if you go in actually wanting that to happen, for example, if you go in thinking, okay, I feel really good about this offer, I'm gonna launch it. If nobody signs up, that's fine. That just means there's something I need to shift in my energy or with the message, or you know, if you have intuition, you can look in. That gives you a more baseline place to start from. Same thing with family members. So I have done so much spiritual work, I know all of the theory, but sometimes I still get triggered by family members. And so instead of like walking into a house and thinking, okay, it's gonna be different. I've got my creator field all great, they're gonna be so different to me. No, I don't do that. Instead, I'm like, okay, they're probably gonna say this, they're probably gonna trigger me. How am I gonna react? Okay. By simply having these plans, it doesn't just prepare you for it, but it actually reduces the severity of the situation, of the worst-case scenario. So you stop letting the bomb dictate your life. You stop letting a bad day ruin your week, you take back control. And this pattern of expecting things to go perfectly shows up in all areas of life everywhere, right? And this is something I'm personally working on as well. As you guys know, if you've been listening for a while, if not, welcome. I took a really bad fall down the stairs about, you know, three or four weeks ago. And I knew it had something to do with my flexibility about moving forward in life, about a lot of things. But the most important thing was that I had this false perception that my missteps are actually going to create something catastrophic for me, right? My left knee, which was injured, was telling me that I wasn't being flexible around when things don't go my way. And I've struggled with this my whole life, where it has to happen this way. If it doesn't, it's wrong. They're wrong, I've done something wrong, I know best. Like those are things I've dealt with, like this weird perfectionism that actually came from some trauma, right? And so I've been noticing this in my life where even if, like, it's kind of funny, I was in a class yesterday and my mentor asked the class a question, and I went to answer it, and then I was like, oh, I know that's not the right answer because he and I have talked about this multiple times. And I literally started sweating. I felt sick to my stomach, and I was like, then I started laughing because I was like, oh my gosh, this is exactly the issue, is that I feel like one little tiny misstep or getting an answer wrong is going to destroy my life, right? So instead, these missteps are just information, it's the universe helping you break an old tool so you're forced to go shop for a new one, right? It's for me, my ability to let go of outcomes that don't go my way or what I think is right is so key. And so part of that, mostly for me, it's in my social area of life too, like thinking, you know, this has been an issue in a lot of my romantic relationships, is I would just say, like, well, why didn't you just do it this way? Or if you had just done it this way, you know, me thinking that I know best and that nobody can outdo my thoughts or my way. But to take it a step further, I was also doing that on a micro level when really the beings around me, I know nothing compared to the beings around me, like my higher self, source, my guides, all of that, right? So they know, like I trust my higher self 100% when it comes to like intuition or when I'm doing the intuitive reads. But I didn't even realize I was trying to, I was thinking, like, oh, well, it didn't happen the way I wanted it. So, you know, it's wrong, but that's not true because my higher self knows what she's doing. And I need to just sit back and be like, you know what? There's a reason for this, right? And there are all kinds of intuitive questions that I do to be able to check, like just really to give my human self a check. Like, okay, if it was done this this way, my human perception way, how good would the outcome be? Four. If it's done the way my higher self has planned, how good is that outcome? 98, right? So which way do you want to go? I want to go with my higher self. So how you can start making these little adjustments is just noticing we're going into situations with hope, optimism, really high expectations, and just trying to give yourself a reality check before the universe does that for you, because it's a lot easier to do it to yourself and then reduce that reality check by the universe. Also, just knowing like if your goal is to make five million a year and right now you're making 200,000, there's gonna be a lot of missteps, there's gonna be a lot of obstacles to get to that five million, right? Otherwise, you're not learning learning anything and you're not growing. So you can ask yourself if you have intuition, is this failure in quotation marks a necessary adjustment to get me there, to get me to where I'm wanting to be, right? Because we're not going to get to that place we want with a bunch of wins. It's actually going to be in the messy, chaotic series of adjustments that get us to that place. Because if I look at, you know, one of my goals and I pull intuitively, how many obstacles do I need to go through before I reach that goal? 25. Okay, so I know I'm going to experience 25 obstacles in order to reach that goal. Then I can start pulling. Okay, what are the obstacles around? How can I kind of learn them now so I don't have to go through them? Right. And then that's the beauty of intuition is being able to do all of that and see that. But just know if your life feels chaotic, if it feels messy, if it feels confusing, that is a good thing, actually, because that means your higher self is listening and you're getting closer to where what you're asking for. Because the tools you inherited, uh, the tools I inherited, the beliefs I have operated from most of my life, those are not the ones that will build the reality and the dream that I have in my mind, right? And actually, more importantly, what my higher self has planned for me. And in case you notice, yes, I'm talking quietly because I have a house full of people. So for me personally, I am 100% willing to break the tools that don't work for me, to shift the beliefs and feel the discomfort of not having the right tool and then finding the right tool. That is the process. Again, it's not going to be a series of easy wins that gets you to that$5 million a year or whatever it is. It's the adjustments, it's the obstacles. And it's a lot easier when you can see the obstacles as positive versus falling into the victimhood state of mind, which again is a dark force thing and just the wrong tools, you know, from our family members and society. We have control over our lives and we can control how other people treat us. There's a lot of things we we can actually control, but where I'm stepping back with control is like thinking I know better than my higher self. And if you're up for that challenge, I would highly recommend it for you as well. Because your higher self is a mini-god. Like they literally designed you, your life, everything. And I know it's hard to kind of let go, but they really do know best. So what you can do, that doesn't mean just like sit there and don't do anything. It means keep moving forward, keep making these mistakes and quotation marks, keep making adjustments and figuring out what tools actually work for you. And then if you want to reduce your devastation in life, go into situations big and small daily, expecting that it could be a really, you know, that it could be the worst possible scenario. Um, not from a place of fear or or panic or anything, but just like, yeah, it's probably gonna go this way, or I'm probably not gonna get this job. If I don't, here's what's going to happen. Or I know that there'll be a better one for me. Or if you have your intuition, you can intuit, you know, if there was an issue with your creator field, if there's a tool that you need, or if this was, you know, just not the job that was gonna get you to where your higher self wants you to be. Okay, talking quiet is not easy, especially for 20 minutes. So I will just end it there. And I would love to hear your thoughts on this. If you want me to dive more into it. In my membership this month, Brooke's coming back, and we are going to do a session on soul lesson, soul path, like how your soul lesson actually corresponds to your soul path, all of that. If you're in the membership, you got an invite to it. If you would like to join, you know where to go. And sending you all so much love. Bye. Thank you for listening to Unveiled. I always love hearing your takeaways. So please connect with me on Instagram at AngelaMurray Christian and feel free to tag me when you share it with your friends. Every single review matters, and it helps me reach more people who want to improve this world. If you leave a review, let me know and I'll send you a little thank you gift. Any resources mentioned in the show will be linked in the show notes, sending you all to love.