Hooked, Drained & Corded: The 4 Ways Your Ex Still Controls Your Energy

Understanding the impact of energetic bonds is crucial for personal healing and empowerment. 

This episode explores four types of energetic ties—hooks, umbilical cords, vampire cords, and arrows—that can hinder our emotional progress and offers insights on how to clear them.

• Discussing the importance of recognizing and releasing energetic hooks 
• Exploring umbilical cords and their influence on emotions 
• Identifying energetic vampires and their draining effects 
• Understanding energetic arrows and how they manifest 

Resources mentioned: 

Unbonded

Clean BDE

Unveiled - The Vault (Annual Membership) 

Light it UP!

Ex Detox (6 week coaching program)

Mini Intuitive Read 

Chapters

• 0:05 Healing Energetic Bonds and Relationships
• 9:24 Identifying and Clearing Negative Energy
• 16:23 Personalized Coaching Program for Empowerment

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Welcome to Unveiled, the podcast. I'm your host, angela Christian, and I help you with unveiling your true self by peeling away the layers that society placed on you. I do this with a combination of neuroscience, energetics and ancient spiritual wisdom. I went from underpaid and overworked in corporate America to launching a six-figure company that continues to grow. I went from toxic relationships to being happy and single for over a year as I worked and continue to work on becoming the best version of myself, and so much more. My greatest passion is to help women and mothers heal, transform and become the highest versions of themselves. As I continue to grow and expand my intuitive knowledge and unique wisdom, I'll be including you on my journey to millions, so let's get into it. Hello and welcome back to Unveiled.

Speaker 1: 1:01

Today I have a short podcast episode for you on the four energetic issues you might have with an ex, or really with anybody in your life. As you'll hear, this will help you identify if you're having any kind of unhealthy energetic ties with anybody in your past. These energetic bonds can explain why you might feel stuck, drained, unable to fully move forward in your life. I felt such a release when I learned how to clear all four of these. So definitely listen. It's also important to note that until you clear these four different types of bonds energetic bonds they can actually prevent you from healing fully. So if you were someone like me who for a very long time was always looking externally for healings from people before I knew how to heal myself, it's not going to work entirely because these bonds are going to have you exchanging negative energy and emotions with other people. So until you clear these, you won't even reap the benefits of an actual healing, even if it's a really good healing.

Speaker 1: 2:12

So the first one we're going to talk about are energetic hooks. So an energetic hook is almost like a boomerang. So you like, throw it out and that comes back to you, right? So this can show up in your life like an ex you keep returning to, or a toxic friendship that you keep finding yourself back in, or a negative, toxic parent which side note, I will explain at the end how to deal with toxic people as well. A little quick, brief discussion. So an energetic hook can just feel like no matter how many times you try to distance yourself from someone, you keep getting pulled back to them and they're almost like a little chain. Right, they cast a chain out and that hooks into you and it can actually hook into different parts of your body. So, as I've explained, we have an energetic body which is much larger than our physical body. So all disease and issues actually start in your energetic body, in the in the way of reflections, which I'm going to dive into in my membership because I've had so many people asking me about reflections. So reflections are actually a way for your higher self or your guides, whomever, to get your attention and say, hey, like, look into this, right.

Speaker 1: 3:42

So if you keep ignoring all of that, let's say you're really angry about something someone did to you, right, which is a whole different topic. I could do an entire episode on that. I actually talk about that in my programs. But let's say somebody, you feel like somebody did something to you and you're pissed off. I'm actually thinking about a family member right now who tells me that she's not angry about this person. But the second someone brings up the person's name. She, like you, can just see that she has all this anger and I've explained to her anger and resentment in the body for a long time turns into cancer. So that is why you'll see people have cancer in different areas.

Speaker 1: 4:22

A lot of women who have been cheated on develop issues in their reproductive areas. I know a woman who got a tumor in her neck. She had a very, very hard time seeing anybody else's side of an issue and any neck issues are always related to not seeing both sides of a story because there's equal positives and negatives to literally everything. That's a very high frequency way to think. It's not how we've been taught to think, it's not the normie way of thinking, but that is like source truth. That is the way Jesus thinks, buddha. All of them right, so they can see equal parts positive and negative to everything. So, getting back to this, my family member who's very angry I tried to explain this to her. But the way that we feel someone is being to us, there's two reasons and I've talked about this before, but just as a refresher. Else, if you're a older soul, higher frequency soul, then it's something you're doing to yourself. So I will have an episode, probably the next episode.

Speaker 1: 5:30

I'll dive into this a little bit deeper, like how to kind of translate these issues, and I'm going to drop an audio in unbonded as a bonus, actually to help people with this, because I see so many mothers and women that come to me and they're just very angry with their ex and I can see the bigger picture for them and I don't, and I want to clear that anger for them because I don't want to see them having health issues and all of that right. It's just not worth it when all relationships are either a sole contract thing which means you guys agreed to these things before you incarnated here or it's a creator field thing. So, as I've shared, I'll always throw myself under the bus here as someone who was beating herself up from a very young age. I would. I would attract men, even men who had never had a history of abuse, who would be verbally abusive, physically abusive, emotionally abusive. You know, I never felt like I was good enough, so then they would reflect that to me as well. Now I can look back and I appreciate them actually for doing those things, because they either agreed to that on a soul level, a soul contract level, or they were just simply stepping in to play a role in my movie, because we're all in our own Truman show where I needed to cast someone in my show to be abusive to me so that I'd finally wake up and say enough. So these people are actually helping us, even though it doesn't feel like that from a human 3D lower frequency level. So, okay, getting back here got a little sidetracked, okay.

Speaker 1: 7:07

So an energetic hook when someone has a hook in you, it's harder to fully walk away. That's why, you know, I've had relationships in the past where I kept going back to someone and I couldn't really explain why they weren't like the best. It's just like I just kept going back to them. Then I found out all of this stuff and I was like, okay, this makes sense. So they might feel your energy and they're like, oh my God, I love her energy, which can be two things actually, and I'll get into the other one and they might just hook into you, right, and it's usually not a conscious thing, although there are conscious rituals where people do this to people to actually make them sick. I'll explain that in a second. But so that's energetic hooks. In unbonded. I actually share how to find these and clear them, both in unbonded and my lighted up program actually, because this is a dark force topic as well.

Speaker 1: 8:00

So the second energetic bond is something called an umbilical cord. So umbilical cords are natural energetic connections, like to people usually that we love, like our parents, our partners, our friends, even mentors, but they are never something we should actually have, and I'll explain why. They do create a deep emotional tie, but what that does is it makes your emotions influenced by theirs. So if you've ever seen the movie which is one of my favorite Practical Magic with Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock, at one point they cut their hands and put them together and rub their blood together Like my blood is your blood, right? It's kind of a similar concept with what I would call negative umbilical cords, in that, you know, with the family member I mentioned earlier who was very angry. Until I cleared my umbilical cord with her, I would take on her anger and I could feel it as my own and that is not healthy, right. So I noticed a huge shift and I've feel it as my own and that is not healthy, right. So I noticed a huge shift and I've actually had to cut the cord with her several times, because if they're an important person in your life, it's easy to let your uh protection, energetic protection down which I do give in unbonded and light it up, and my membership actually, because it's very important. So I want all my people to be protected.

Speaker 1: 9:24

The second, that you kind of feel bad for somebody. All of your protection drops. So there is a way to feel like sympathy for someone but setting the intention like I am not going to drop my protection right now. You know so anyone you've been intimate with you have an umbilical cord. With any like toxic relationship, whether it's friendship or partnership or even a work situation, you have a cord with likely.

Speaker 1: 9:50

So if it's hard for you to like separate your feelings from how they're feeling, it's definitely a negative umbilical cord and this is different than a soul connection bond. So this isn't what I'm talking about. We do have, like soul connection bonds those we aren't cutting. Those are different, a different topic. But what I'm talking about is the negative energetic cord that we have with people and I share a very detailed process, much different than anywhere you've likely heard. I even used to do a different energetic cord cutting.

Speaker 1: 10:24

This one is much more advanced and you will feel a shift immediately. You'll feel this like sense of relief, but also a flood of positive energy, because what also happens is you're mixing your soul pieces with their soul pieces. They're getting some of your soul, you're getting some of their soul. We don't want that. We need to be 100% whole and that's why, as I mentioned in the beginning, if we're getting healings from like shamans and healers, if you don't have all of your soul pieces, you're not going to fully heal from those healings.

Speaker 1: 10:59

If they are a high frequency healing right, some healers do tap into a dark energy. So you do want to be careful with who you're getting healings from. Some do it intentionally. There's a very big name healer who taps into dark forces intentionally. I share his name in my programs but I'm not going to share it publicly. And then there are healers who think they're doing a good job and connecting to the light and they're actually being tricked and they're connecting to dark forces. So you have to be really careful with who you're going to get healings from and making sure that you have all of your soul pieces. Otherwise it's just wasting money, basically. So those are negative umbilical cords.

Speaker 1: 11:41

The next one is what I would call energetic, energetic vampire cords, or you can think of them as like siphoning cords. So an energetic vampire, which I've talked about briefly, is when someone like drains your energy and a lot of times they don't even know and it's funny because I saw this meme on Instagram I need to find it and it was like a guy saying oh, I love your energy, and then he proceeds to like drain it all. And that's exactly what has happened to me, specifically around one relationship that I had with a singer. And I don't think he was doing it consciously at first, but I do think in the end he knew what he was doing after he signed with a big record label. So you'll find a lot of this in the music industry. Like, I can't even get into that today. I get into it in my light it up program, but anyway.

Speaker 1: 12:34

So I would go see him. He lived in a different state than me and I would be so excited to go see him and then by day two I would always get a stye in my eye, I'd break out in a rash, it was like my whole body was rejecting him. I would have all these weird symptoms and then I'd come home feeling exhausted, drained, so weak it would take me like a week to get back to normal. So that is a very clear sign that they're an energetic vampire. And again, they don't always know what they're doing, but they're siphoning your energy, they're pulling your life force into their energetic body. They're feeding off of you just like a vampire, right, and these cords can be connected. A lot of the times they'll show up connected in the neck, the heart, the throat, the shoulder area, the lower back.

Speaker 1: 13:29

So this is one you really want to be careful of, like if you have your protection up that I teach in my programs and especially if you're aware of this person you know, maybe it's someone at work, or maybe it's a partner you're trying to leave, or family member, if you put your protection on and then set the intent that you will not drop your protection, they won't be able to connect or cord into you as long as your protection is up. So that's why it is so key. Like you know, I try to explain this stuff sometimes to my parents. My mom kind of gets it like. She's starting to understand it more. She's always asking me to like clear her of dark energy and I told her I need to teach you. I can't like I'll clear you once and then I'm going to teach you, because she has a lot of dark energy around her. But my stepdad, he's just like thinks this is all crazy and I'm like, okay, well, you watch, you listen to the radio. You can't see the radio waves, right, but they're there, like if you think about how advanced that is, that we can turn the radio on and listen to music, right? Or even on our phones, like Wi-Fi on our phones. Like you can't see that, yet we all walk around believing it, right? So this stuff is 100% as real as anything physical and it's even more important to clear your energy body before it makes its way to your physical body.

Speaker 1: 14:46

Okay, so the last one are called energetic arrows, and arrows are like very concentrated bursts of like negative energy being shot your way just like an arrow, right. This can happen if someone is really angry or upset with you, even if they're not aware that they're doing it. You might feel pain or tension in a specific part of your body, like your heart, your head, your neck. I had this happen the other day, but it wasn't from a person, it was more a group of dark forces. I got an arrow in my neck and I could not turn my neck. After I cleared it, put my protection back up, I was fine. But these can come from both unintentional people who are just really angry with you to intentional to try to weaken your energy centers or certain parts of your body. These are all very real energetic issues and these bonds can actually have a really profound impact on your life, like I said, making it difficult to heal physically or emotionally, making it difficult to move on, and it can prevent you from feeling fully empowered in your own energy. So the key here to truly freeing yourself is knowing how to clear them, knowing how to notice, like oh, I just got like hit with that or that person definitely like drained my energy. So if this interests you and you want to learn more, I'll just link the three different areas I mentioned in the show notes.

Speaker 1: 16:23

But I will say, as promised, what I see from a lot of my clients, and recently I've started working with women in a different way, which is they're preparing to go to court and they were needing something a little different than Clean BDE, because Clean BDE is my signature program. You do get a couple like check-ins with me, but they are needing something more personalized. So I created this program. It's my only coaching program called the X Det detox and what it is for one woman. She was about to go on judge Judy actually and have to face her abusive ex and she came to me with only like 10 days. And so I was like, oh my gosh, like cause I didn't know her. She was a referral from someone else and I'm like, okay, I'm going to give her everything I've got. And so she wasn't a mother, so I didn't want to send her to clean BDE because that wouldn't be as helpful for someone who's not a mom. So I created this whole program for her, which was basically a personalized program.

Speaker 1: 17:23

So I started with an intuitive read to see where she's at. I told her what I saw, the issues that are currently blocking her. Then I intuitively curated it was supposed to just be 10 audios that would help her clear, but I ended up giving her like 15 or maybe more. Then, halfway through, I did a check-in with her. I did another read, I scanned her field to see like what power statements would really help her in the courtroom, gave her those and then just kind of like checked in with her and it I was like, wow, this like is a really cool offering I would have never even thought to create if she hadn't come to me. And then she referred someone else to me. So then I got to do it again and I'm like, okay, I'm going to make this a coaching program of its own, so I will link that one too. I haven't really talked about it publicly too much because it's brand new and it's something I was really trying to like dial in before I talked about. But she was able to go on live television in front of her abusive ex and, like stand her ground, be confident, so much so that he like called her after and was asking her to go get lunch or dinner or something. And she was like yeah, and I told her I'm like yeah, he definitely felt your energy shift, because that's the whole thing is.

Speaker 1: 18:43

You might've seen on Instagram me talking about how, like just constantly labeling our exes, constantly saying like it's their fault, that does nothing for us. It actually hurts our energetic field. It shuts down our creator field, because the second you say they did it, it's their fault, your unconscious, your creator field, says, okay, well then we can't do anything about it, right? Whereas if you take time and responsibility, it does take radical responsibility to stop and ask. Like, for example, one of my newer clients, she felt like her ex was stepping over the line, being outrageously disrespectful.

Speaker 1: 19:26

So what I do first is I ask my clients how do you feel like they're being to you, because the words they're saying are actually how they feel about themselves. So there's something called confession through projection and that looks like. You know, I had an ex who this is where it very much clicked for me because he was telling me that I was a loser, that I was not good enough, all of these things that weren't, that I was not good enough, all of these things that weren't that I knew weren't true. And by this time I had done enough of you know, learning all of these energetic laws to understand what was happening and I didn't take it on. But what I realized is he was actually telling me exactly how he felt about himself because he had lost multiple jobs, he had, you know, several addiction issues, he had all these things happening, and so he was telling me literally how he felt about himself and I was able to just like protect myself from those projections. Right, he was literally confessing how he felt about himself.

Speaker 1: 20:24

So the words people say to you don't mean anything about you, okay, unless they can be clues. So if someone says like you're not prioritizing me, that means they're not prior to prioritizing themselves in a certain area of life, and there are eight areas I've talked about before. I dive into them deeply in my membership. And so when we feel like someone for example my client was crossing a boundary, was being overly disrespectful, right, I immediately tell my client like, okay, let me look into this and I look in and I see intuitively where my client is actually doing that to herself, and I've been on the other side of that so I also know it can be a blind spot for us, even when we know all of these higher frequency ways of thinking and healing.

Speaker 1: 21:19

I had a read with my teacher, alessandro, and I was sharing with him about an ex who you know had been heavy drinker, doing drugs, losing jobs, all of this that I felt was really I don't even think I said the words irresponsible, but it definitely could come across as me believing he was being irresponsible, right. And so when Alessandro did a reading for me, he said you are feeling like you're being irresponsible in the area of money, which you've had since age 16, you inherited from your mom and you've been beating yourself up since then about money. And so when I have that in my creator field irresponsibility what do you think I'm going to attract someone who I feel is being irresponsible to me, to their commitments, to you know, life in general, and it actually they were doing me a favor. It's like, oh, hello, okay, how do you think I'm being? I'm being irresponsible. I'm doing this for you.

Speaker 1: 22:19

I'm reflecting this back so that you can see where you're beating yourself up, and these are complex concepts and laws, energetic laws to wrap your mind around. So give yourself patience, like you're never not going to have reflections, but you can actually start looking at them like a game, just like I said, and piecing it together. And thank God, I have friends inside the intuitive world where we're, all you know, learning all of this together and we can ask each other hey, what do you think? This is a reflection of right, and so could I have looked in and seen that for myself? Yes, but it's always nice to have it from the outside. Also, unless you are trained and practiced in emotional mastery, as I am now, you can emotionally manipulate your answers that you're getting, even if you are a trained intuitive. If your emotions are higher than like 17%, you are likely manipulating the intuitive answers you are getting right.

Speaker 1: 23:25

So there's a lot to it and that's why, when it comes to my own stuff. Yes, I decode 95% of it myself. But then for the things that feel really tough, I do go and get help. And in case you haven't heard me say this before, when I'm recognizing that the other person for example my ex, the irresponsible ex when I'm recognizing what happened, that doesn't mean I just excuse all of his behavior and think he's an angel, right? No, what I'm doing is understanding that I had that in my creator field. My energy was a match for someone to behave like that, right? So when I shift my own energy and look in and understand the reflections, shift them. Then I won't be a match for that type of behavior anymore, right.

Speaker 1: 24:18

And if I had even stayed with him, I could have shifted myself. He would have acted differently, unless it was just a sole contract thing where he was in my life, which he was. He was in my life to help me with something and our contract ended. He was actually a two out of four and this is something I could talk about in a different episode. I would do talk about it. And unbonded, where there's different levels of soulmates and then there's a soul compliment which is like, basically, you in the opposite energy. I'm not going to go into that today. But basically the best soulmate you can have is a four out of four which is mental, emotional, spiritual and physical like a match. He was a two out of four for me, so we weren't meant to stay together forever, however, forever. However, if I had shifted my behavior, we probably would have just broken up sooner. Like, if I had changed my behavior at the time, shifted my own energy, healed that reflection, we would have probably just broken up because we would have no longer been an energetic match.

Speaker 1: 25:23

So this is what I do with my clients is I help them shift their own reflection so they're just no longer a match for the kind of behavior that they don't want in their life. It's not about we don't have to go through this whole forgiveness process. Like, if you want to great, do it. I've definitely done it and I teach it inside clean BDE. Is it necessary? No, the energetic cord cutting, necessary understanding, whether it was a sole contract or a creator field issue, which is a reflection, right, some kind of imbalance. Those things are important and they're so key to helping you move up to higher frequency relationships, right? So the next relationship I get into I'm going to be a match for a lot different energy than I ever was before, and I was so happy to hear from Alessandra that I do have a four out of four soulmate out there Not currently in California, I guess, but excited to meet him for sure when the time is right.

Speaker 1: 26:26

So I'm really trying to share this higher frequency way of looking at other people in a way that is warm and still sympathetic, right, and I haven't done the best job just because now that I'm on the other side of it and I can see exactly what's happening Like if someone's saying like he's not making enough time for me, he did this, he did that, he did this it has nothing to do with him. It has everything to do with her not prioritizing herself, not whatever she's wanting from him. She's actually lacking in giving herself. So people just come into our lives to play a specific role, whether it's soul contract or whether it is to reflect our creator field and show us right. And if you just spend your time focusing on what the other person is doing, you are giving them all the control in many different ways. It's so simple to take your control back by just saying I created this and so I know. That's hard to do or it can be. I like doing it. Now. I find it like a game. I'm like, okay, I created this, like what created it? And I find it and I solve it and it shifts and I do that for my clients, so it is 100% possible. And then it shifts the way people treat you as well.

Speaker 1: 27:46

However, we were taught all these low frequency ways to behave, to interact in relationships, because the dark forces of the world knew that would keep us from reaching our high frequency potentials. So this is something you'll have to accept and then start to do if you want to reach that high frequency potential. Because the high frequency potential. There is no room up there for blaming other people all the time, and I even tried to explain this to my family member who's really angry with a certain person. I explained to her where she's doing that to herself and it actually helped diffuse some of the anger. So this is something I also do for like one on one intuitive reads. So I will share that in the show notes as well. But this is all just to empower you. It's not to you know. I just feel like this world has become such a victimhood mentality where a lot of people are whining and complaining and I believe me, I was there, so not judging but it's like now that I'm on the other side, I'm like, oh God, I did that for so long, I did it for so long. So I do have sympathy. But then I'm like, oh my gosh, it's so much better over here. So I'm trying to communicate this in a softer way, but reach out.

Speaker 1: 29:03

If you have anything that you would want me to cover on a podcast episode, I would really love to hear from you. I love hearing from my listeners and I'm happy to dive into any kind of topic. I am going to start talking about some conscious parenting topics. So, yeah, I would love to hear from you. I hope you have an amazing week. Thank you for listening to Unveiled. I always love hearing your takeaways, so please connect with me on Instagram that, angela Marie Christian and feel free to tag me when you share it with your friends. Every single review matters and it helps me reach more people who want to improve this world. If you leave a review, let me know and I'll send you a little thank you gift. Any resources mentioned in the show will be linked in the show notes, sending you all love.