Spilling the Tea on BDE: Empowering Mothers in the Co-Parenting Journey

I open up about my path to healing, sharing candidly the encounters that tested my resilience, and how embracing Rapid Resolution Therapy (RRT) and clinical hypnosis laid the groundwork for not only my personal transformation but also the birth of a program that's changing lives: Clean BDE.

The dance of our conscious and unconscious minds can be as intricate, but when they're out of sync, the result is less than graceful. I take you through my journey of escaping the shadow of an abusive relationship and learning how to neutralize the emotional pain.

I shine a light on resilience and the extraordinary ability to reclaim one's power in the wake of trauma. I recount how transitioning from a love of the spotlight to a dread of public speaking became an unforeseen catalyst for growth, revealing the silver lining stitched with humor and healing.

Also mentioned: my membership The Club. Join here. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Society told us who we should be. I tried that. It's not for me, and if you're here, I'm guessing it's not for you either. So welcome to the unconventional UnCEO podcast with your host, angela Christian, where my mission is to help you break free from the matrix once and for all to live a life of freedom, joy, wild abundance and fulfillment on your terms, unsubscribing from the status quo because you don't fit into someone else's box. Are you ready? Let's do it. Hello and welcome back. I'm so excited to spill the tea on clean BTE. I laugh because my teenager would absolutely cringe if she heard me say that, but it rhymes. So today I'm going to talk about what motivated me to come out with this program. I haven't really talked about it because I realized I launched it when my podcast was on a break, so I didn't even really share too much about it. So this program, it's for mothers who are ready to clear the toxic energy with their co-parents, and I really wanted to address it today because I had a hater this week.

Speaker 1: 1:18

A man who posted let's see will me back up. So I posted a very vulnerable story on Instagram and I always try to be in the energy that I want someone to feel when they read my post. And so this was a very vulnerable post for me about when I knew it was time to leave a toxic relationship. And, to be honest, it wasn't about just one person. It was kind of just all my toxic relationships balled into one. So it wasn't a post where I was thinking about a specific person. It definitely wasn't blaming them, because I honestly believe people are reflections of us. So if someone's treating me like crap, I have to look at how am I treating myself? Am I treating myself like crap? And when I was with those men, at certain points, yes, I was over giving. I was totally turning my head from the red flags. I was, you know, in some of them I was partying, and so this post wasn't at all about blaming that person, right, it was really just about like here's how you know.

Speaker 1: 2:35

Basically I was trying to write the post for other moms who might be in that situation or who have left that situation. So I can't remember it exactly, but it was basically, like you know, constant yelling, like signs I knew it was time to leave. Constant yelling like children were in pain, feeling just broken down, like these are all things I experienced and it, and when I posted it, I was so focused on making women and mothers feel good and like, supported, like I see you, I wasn't even thinking about men, and so it actually got the most views, I think, of any Instagram post I've done, and a lot of likes all from women or I shouldn't say all, but a lot of from women and this man wrote something along the lines of the fact you're talking or the fact you're sharing this shows how toxic you are. Lucky guy for you leaving him, or something like that, which, to me, at first I was like what? And then I started getting in my head and I'm like, wait, wait, wait, like clearly, this is showing me two things. One, it's showing me that, yes, I feel really solid in helping other women, but maybe there's still some healing there about doing it in front of men, right. So it was a reflection on where I might still need some healing, because I just feel like when people show up like that, it's an opportunity for me to look at it and be like, okay, well, obviously I still need some healing there, right. But then, two, I was like, well, maybe he is a person like one of my exes who's in a relationship with a woman, treating her badly and feels triggered, you know that another woman is sharing information about it. I don't know, I don't know the person, I just blocked them, I didn't respond. But it's unfortunate that you know, when we are trying to share something very vulnerable without blaming, that, someone would then call us toxic right, which is kind of interesting because my whole tagline for this program is clearing toxic energy with the co-parent. So I mean, I found that very interesting Anyway.

Speaker 1: 4:57

So I'm going to just talk a little bit about why I decided to do this program and kind of like the evolution of it. Because a year ago, you guys, I would have never had the courage to even talk about this openly and I was just on Andrea Crowder's podcast, which is, you know, a top I think she's in like the top 1% or 3% of podcasts in the world openly talking about this. And that's only because I believe fully that it's from RRT, rapid Resolution Therapy, which I'm certified in clinical hypnosis utilizing RRT, and I'm very, very close to having my RRT certification. It's like a 200 hour requirement and I'm very close, and I'm very close to having my RRT certification. I'm very close and I've been doing energetics for a long time.

Speaker 1: 5:50

I do believe energetics helped a lot with clearing some of the pain from certain experiences with an X, where it was very physical and I you know, but I it was because I did it multiple times a week. It was a very time intensive thing. I was healing from black mold. I was having to sit in a sauna, so I would just sit there and I would. I created these like energetic healings. I would see him come in, I would say I forgive you, we would hug. It was like over and over and over and over and over With our tea. It's like one session and it's done. So I'm not saying our tea is the only modality but for me, because I've tried so many modalities, it is the fastest in my opinion. So RRT helped me neutralize the pain that, even some of the issues I thought I had overcome.

Speaker 1: 6:48

Like there was one specific memory that I talk about in my programs. A lot of you know being in an abusive relationship. I Went and hid in the kids room. They weren't there, lock the door, went and hid in the closet and For a second I stared across the room at this sliding glass door and I just thought I could leave right now. I could end all of this. I could just leave. But I had Become so isolated from my family and friends which is a very common thing in toxic or abusive relationships that I didn't even feel Safe doing that. And so, it's just interesting, I would rather stay in a house where he eventually, you know, broke down the door and hurt me, then call my family right, and so I used to go back to that memory a lot and I would think, god, why didn't you just go through the sliding glass door? That is a very conscious mind, evolved mind thing to do and it's normal.

Speaker 1: 7:47

But by doing that, by reliving that experience and saying, like God, I should have done that, the primitive mind is thinking there's something to do now and it's and it's telling your body with sensations like, yeah, go do it, even though it was like years ago. The primitive mind doesn't understand Future or past. It thinks if you're thinking about it, it's happening now, there's something to do, and so every time I thought about that, it was causing sensations in my body like anxiety, stress. And so this is where our RT is so helpful, and I just did a whole audio explaining this in very, a lot of detail For my programs, both BDE and my membership, which is called the club. It lays the groundwork, really helping you understand how your mind works. And then I do monthly clearings for you, monthly hot seat coaching, q&a. All of that I'll share that in the show notes, the link for both.

Speaker 1: 8:51

But If I hadn't learned about our RT, I wouldn't have understood that even just by thinking these things about my past, it was actually creating pain in my present. And so what our RT does is it updates your unconscious mind that it's no longer happening, there's nothing to do, you are safe. And so just to back up for a second. I explain this in my audio today, which I'll be releasing shortly. But I want you to just think of like a tall glass base and at the bottom of the base there's like one foot of Red sand, right like packed tightly in there, and then you start pouring in green sand on top of it. The red sand still stays there. The green sand is just being poured on top of it. It's not mixing, right. So you can think of like that red sand as our unconscious mind, also called subconscious mind, also called primitive mind, and then the green sand being poured on top of it is like our conscious mind, our evolved mind.

Speaker 1: 9:58

They don't Communicate and it causes a lot of dysfunction. And I actually read this quote earlier this week and I will find it, but it said something like in the last 40,000 years, our unconscious mind, our primitive, caveman mind, has Barely just like slightly, hardly at all, changed. So we are still walking around with cave man Mines, and then we have these evolved minds on top of the primitive mind right. And so what happens? Is our conscious mind, our primitive, or our conscious mind, our evolved mind? We'll think something like you, let's say that you're in a traffic jam and your husband made you late right, or your partner or whatever, and so you're like God, if we had just left the house like 30 minutes earlier, we could have avoided this, even something as simple as that. Your unconscious mind hears that and it's like oh yeah, okay, leave earlier. When you're already sitting in the traffic jam, there's no way for you to leave earlier. But it doesn't understand the past or the future. It only is in the present moment. And so this is why RRT has just been life changing to me understanding how these two minds work and the dysfunction between them, and then how you can actually start integrating, and they both have very different goals too.

Speaker 1: 11:26

Like the conscious mind, the evolved mind is often focused on thriving, like if you're listening to this podcast, you're probably into self development, you're probably an entrepreneur, you want to be an entrepreneur, right? So that's what your conscious mind is focused on. Your unconscious mind is focused on survival, and so it's always ready to turn on that fight or fight system and get you to do something. And how does it get you to do something? Through action, feelings, emotions, impulses. But when there's dysfunction in the mind meaning there's like unclear trauma or it believes that something's happening now, then it just creates unhelpful sensations that really aren't necessary. So RRT doesn't remove the memories. I can still remember all of the memories, but I'm neutral. It's neutral because my unconscious mind has been updated. It's not happening now, and so I don't know if I've given this example on my podcast before, but this is how I explain it to my students is I want you to think of, like little mini marshmallows on a conveyor belt Just going to a storage unit? So those are all of our experiences, our memories, just going along going into the storage unit. But when we have trauma or an experience where we applied meaning to it. I'll give you an example in a second. But when we have trauma or an experience that we apply meaning to, that marshmallow blows up and it won't go into the storage unit. So that tells unconscious mind this is happening now. It hasn't been moved into the storage unit. It's happening now.

Speaker 1: 13:12

But not just that. Anything that even resembles that is going to put your body on alert. So, for example, sally goes on a date with this guy. Her friends have all said he's wonderful, nothing but good things about him. But on the date she just feels like something's off. She can't put her finger on it and she just thinks oh, it must be my intuition, he must really be a bad guy, right? But no, let's say she was assaulted as a younger woman and that man was wearing a yellow shirt and the guy on the date was wearing a yellow shirt, even though they're completely different people. Unconscious mind, primitive mind, puts out an alert because it's the yellow shirt. It's trying to protect her, and so that's why it's so important to clear these traumas, to move them into the storage unit as something that has happened but is no longer happening.

Speaker 1: 14:11

And so this is what my whole program is about. It's for mothers, whether they're with their co-parent still or not, that have experienced trauma or toxic energy with their co-parent and they really want to stop just surviving, stop just like waking up and feeling like it's a battleground. I know that feeling. I remember just drinking coffee all day, drinking wine at night, like getting up walking on eggshells. It's like it's not a fun way to live at all. And so, because I was able to first see that that's possible, especially with some of the things I talk about in my program, like the examples I give, like I have been through a lot and that is all cleared. And so once I was able to do it for myself well, I didn't do it for myself, I had someone else do it to me and then teach me. I knew this was possible and I need to do this for other mothers. So let me back up for a second. The other example I was going to give you was when something happens and we apply meaning to it. So, like he didn't text me, that means he doesn't like me, I'm unlovable our conscious mind starts, you know, naming all of these things, or it can be.

Speaker 1: 15:38

When I was about eight, I was a piano player and I was at a concert. Right before I went up to perform my piece, I had to use the bathroom, so I ran to the bathroom, ran right out to like perform, and then when I turned around to bow, everybody saw that I had tucked my dress into my tights and you could see my underwear, and everybody was laughing. Even though that wouldn't be considered like trauma big T trauma, that was one of many events where I felt humiliated in public. Where it stopped, it took me from loving to perform I used to love to be the center of attention to fearing it so badly that I actually, in business school, got a note from my therapist saying that I would never have to give a speech in business school. So it went from loving the spotlight to fearing it, because there were several different experiences that you wouldn't consider like traumatic, maybe, but they were humiliating and they just kept adding up, and so then it was like, okay, she's safer if she just doesn't get up in front of people, right? And so my unconscious mind was trying to protect me. So again, I've had to work through all of that, clear a bunch of memories and infuse them with humor, which Dr Connolly is great at doing, so anyway.

Speaker 1: 17:02

So this isn't a scripted episode, as you can probably tell. I just wanted to get on and kind of talk about some of this stuff. So I am going to share a little bit about this program. Just because I never do launches in the right way. I always like I have all the steps, I know how to do it the right way. I don't know if it's my ADHD or what, but it's like I don't want to follow all of those steps. I just want to share the program and then like, welcome in the people. It doesn't really work like that when you're on social media and you're competing with so many different things, right? So I did want to talk about this here. So if you're listening and you're interested in this program, I will just say it's for you.

Speaker 1: 17:47

If you want to prevent generational trauma, you're excited about a life without constant pain from the past, you're a single mom or you're still in a relationship with the baby daddy, and you want to feel resourced and staying in your power, peace and clarity. You want to clear that toxic energy that's kept you a prisoner of your mind and you don't want your children to feel the tension between their parents. And so if you're not a parent. That's okay too. I have my other program called the club, and that's where I teach a lot of the same things, but it's more focused on teaching you the foundation of like the dysfunctions of our mind, like how all of this works, and then also doing monthly RRT clearings.

Speaker 1: 18:41

Most of the women in that group are entrepreneurs, and just today I woke up to a message from one of them saying that you know, when she first came into my membership, she was making nothing, and she wrote me this morning and was like you've helped me so much. I'm like building wealth, and that just made me feel so good, because sometimes you just don't know. You know, if someone doesn't give you the feedback, you don't know what you're doing for them, and so that was just really exciting to know that you know she's making such a big leap in her business. So one of the things I wanted to talk about also was like who this is not for and this kind of comes back to my little rant on the Instagram post but this is not for people who just want to complain about their baby daddies or their co parent, who want to really remain in that suffering and anger, who like the drama and who aren't willing to just think in a new way. And I say this because I am in some single mom groups online and some of them just complain the whole time about their ex, which that's fine, that's what they're wanting to do. I don't think that's useful or helpful and it's not definitely not helpful for the child, because if that's where all of your energy is going, that's a very negative, low vibrational place to be. I've been there so I'm not like judging this program just wouldn't be for that kind of person who wants to stay in that it's okay. If you're in that and you're like, yeah, this isn't help, you know this isn't helping, I want to move out of it, that's great. But this program is all about you or the mother taking their, their power back, updating their unconscious mind and living their best life and, you know, preventing that generational trauma.

Speaker 1: 20:30

Like that's the whole reason I was so set on clearing this toxic energy because I did not want this for my kids and I could see my teenager was making some of the same mistakes that I did and I was like hell, no. So you know, I have three baby daddies. I have three children. I have been through domestic abuse, court battles. I also had an abortion with someone else and then I have some. I had another boyfriend, or a fiance really, who I'm on really good terms with now. He actually just launched a book and I'm supporting him through that but caused a lot of pain for my daughter and I've reconnected with him and he's, you know, been wanting to reconnect with her but like there was a lot of pain there that I wouldn't have been able to clear without RRT. So it's not just for, like traditional coparents either. It's like you know, I had a lot of pain with the guy I had an abortion with because it wasn't something I wanted to do and I felt very pressured and I get into all of that in there I also will have.

Speaker 1: 21:44

So the way that I have it organized, which all of my programs will be like this going forward is the first phase is really like the foundational phase. So it's talking about the RRT perspective. I also blend in some energetics in there, just really like laying that strong foundation, because if I were to just jump on calls with you before that, it would be like kind of a I hate to say waste of time, but it would be because I would have to be explaining how all of this works, how our mind works. I just figured you know what I'm going to record all of that. Let them go through it at their own pace and then, you know, have the calls later.

Speaker 1: 22:22

So for my membership the club I have monthly Q&A slash hot seat coaching calls. But for Clean BDE I want everyone to go through the foundational training first, because it is more trauma. Where my membership we're not really talking about trauma, we're just really talking about like motivation, inspiration, clearing what money blocks, like all of that kind of stuff. This is more like trauma related. So I wanted to lay the foundation first and then also I don't even think I've like shared this enough, but Andrea Crowder, who's my mentor and coach, she is so excited about this program that she offered to do a free call with anybody in the program. So after the foundational audios are out, then I will be scheduling that call with her, because she's also a single mom who cleared her PTSD and, like I said, she's my mentor and coach Also. So I've blended RRT. My two healing modalities are RRT and then Emotion Code, slash Body Code and now Belief Code, and that coach of mine is Daniel Taylor and so she is going to gift everyone in this program, in both of my programs, with a free session and then ongoing discounts.

Speaker 1: 23:53

And I'm telling you like even Andrea has gotten into Emotion Code and Catherine Zinkina, like they're very complimentary, like I wouldn't just choose one, I would choose both, like that's why I, every month I'm getting RRT and Emotion Code, belief Code, body Code, so clean BDE. What I pictured when I created this program is like a woman on the battlefield with like armor on and underneath the armor were just like cuts and scrapes and bruises and she just kept putting the armor on and it was like dirty. And what I'm doing in BDE and all of my programs really is I want you to see me taking off that armor and actually like cleaning your cuts and your burns, soothing them and then helping you build a stronger operating system from within that helps you understand you don't need the armor. I will show you how to access your inner strength, your peace and your energy and will release the pain and the nightmares from the past. And so how I do that is I upgrade you out of fight or flight into these higher levels of freedom and then in BDE, specifically when you are upgrading your own energy, the little things that used to bother you, like I used to get text messages, my stomach would drop and now it's like whatever. So in BDE I'm also going to have specific examples. So it'll be like you got a snarky text.

Speaker 1: 25:36

Listen to this, and it'll just be a short audio maybe five minutes or less on how to center yourself before you respond, before you go down that rabbit hole right or you're about to go to court. Listen to this like I wish I would have had that, because my nervous system is not working. My nervous system was so fried when I was going through all of this. It's taken me such a long time to get it back on track and I want to be that support in your ear for when you're feeling like, like you're battling alone. So that's really my vision for this program, and so the very first thing I do is I get a pre course survey is what I call it to really understand you, your personal pain, what you've gone through, what you're hoping to heal, and then you would go through phase one, which is the pre recorded content to rewire your brain, reset your nervous system.

Speaker 1: 26:38

I am going to be really seeing an rrt activation soon. I was just going to have all the foundational audios first, but I just feel called like someone, like people need the clearing already, so I'm going to be doing that sooner than I thought. And then, after phase one, it's phase two, where I get on live calls with you to go deeper, and then we have the live call with Andrea and you know my the people I've worked with in my other programs just have such amazing things to say about working with me. And I don't say that to brag, because I learned all of this through Dr Connelly, through rrt, and then, like I said, I do blend in energetics because I've been trained.

Speaker 1: 27:28

Since 2015. I've been training in energy work, spirituality, shamanism, mysticism, mediumship, all of that. So I am very intuitive and I'm actually taking an advanced intuition into can't talk an advanced intuitive training with Ali NINFO. I don't know if you know her, but she's hilarious and she's very like spot on when it comes to intuition and like she's a medium and stuff, and so I've kind of hid from that for a while. But I know it's something you know. We all have that gift within us and I've activated it and activated it in the past, but then kind of like I don't know, it became dormant, so I'm looking forward to activating that as well. So, yeah, I mean that's what's going on with clean BDE and if you have any questions, definitely reach out.

Speaker 1: 28:24

I'm going to go speak on a lot of podcasts about this. I'm going to be on a magazine cover in September and what I would really love to is to help women in the public eye as well, like sometimes I'll just imagine like helping Kim Kardashian or just sell or something like through, through navigating all of this, because and it's not just women who are actively co parenting who have had any trauma or toxic energy around co parenting. Maybe their children are already grown, but the pain is still there. So so I just see like how, how big this could be and I'm working on regulating my nervous system for that. So thank you for listening and I hope that was helpful. I hope you walked away with some little nuggets of wisdom about our tea and how our mind works, and, if you did, please let me know so I will talk to you next week. Bye.