Unlocking Personal Transformation with Ayódele O Kolade

What if you could transform your life by overcoming pain and trauma, and confidently show up in the world as your authentic self?  Our guest, Ayódele O Kolade, is a transformation specialist who has made it her mission to help entrepreneurs and thought leaders do just that.

In this powerful conversation, Ayódele shares her own personal journey through clinical depression, the steps she took to heal, and how her experiences led her to become an advocate for openness and honesty about our struggles.

Together, we explore the powerful combination of NLP, timeline therapy, and hypnotherapy in creating profound transformations for individuals. Ayódele discusses the importance of understanding the unconscious mind and utilizing language to rewire thinking patterns. We also delve into how these three modalities work together to help people move away from unresourceful patterns and towards desired outcomes. Plus, we discuss the incredible impact of using Ayódele's techniques in the amazing Boss Babe program, which has helped thousands of female entrepreneurs.

But it doesn't stop there - in our conversation, we also tackle the delicate balance of motherhood and entrepreneurship. Ayódele shares her essential self-care practices, the power of meditation and communication with the unconscious mind, and the importance of being open with our children about our needs. Don't miss out on this incredible opportunity to learn valuable insights and tools for personal growth and transformation from Ayódele O Kolade.

Links below:

Follow Ayódele on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ayodeleokolade/

Email address: hello@ayodeleokolade.com

Website: https://ayodeleokolade.com

Freebie:

https://ayodeleokolade.com/heal-from-the-past-free-audio-programme

Personal Mastery Through Self-Hypnotherapy Online Course: https://www.udemy.com/course/personal-mastery-through-self-hypnotherapy/

Free Breakthrough Clarity Session (This is for people who are seriously interested in working with me): https://ayodeleokolade.com/free-strategy-session

Transcript

Angela : 0:00

Hello and welcome to the 5D CFO podcast. My name is Angela Marie Christian and my mission is to help entrepreneurs and thought leaders rise to the 5D, where we can find wealth in all dimensions, in all areas of life. Enjoy. I'm excited to introduce you all to Ayadele Oklaid, who is a transformation specialist. She specializes in assisting entrepreneurs and thought leaders in clearing up the past and letting go of pain and trauma they've experienced so that they can step confidently and authentically into the version of themselves that they want to be, resulting in their businesses and lives thriving. Let's get into it. So welcome to the show, ayadele. It's really nice to have you here.

Ayodele: 0:49

Thank you so much for having me. It's an absolute honor and a pleasure. It's been a long time coming. I'm glad that I've been able to be here as your guest, so thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.

Angela : 1:00

Yeah, thank you, and I'm really excited to get into one of my favorite subjects that you also share a lot of information, a lot of great information about, which is transformation, and before our interview, i was looking at your website and I just really loved your mission statement, which I'm going to read just for the listeners. And then I would love if you could just share your back story on your own journey to personal mastery and then what you overcame to get to where you're at. Does that sound?

Ayodele: 1:31

okay, absolutely Sounds awesome, thank you.

Angela : 1:34

So this is her beautiful mission statement. I am dedicated to assisting entrepreneurs in transforming the pain and darkness from the past into light, self-acceptance and the deepest understanding of yourself possible. I am committed to the personal growth and evolution of each client that I serve and make it my mission to assist you in achieving the happiness, confidence, self-belief and personal mastery so that you can truly be the person you want to be in the world. I just think that's so well said. It's very, very beautiful, so I just wanted to share that. And if you could just tell us about yourself and your journey.

Ayodele: 2:11

Thank you so much. Actually, when I hear people read that back to me, it really just lights sort of the neural networks and I get goosebumps listening to it, because it really does speak to exactly how I want to show up and who I want to serve and how I want to serve them and how I want to create that transformation. It's like an alchemy, transmuting pain into something really unique and exquisite and precious that they can be almost proud that they went through those experiences because it's helped to transform them. It was almost like a conduit to transform them into the person that they become as a result of that. So, yeah, thank you for sharing that. Thank you for the opportunity to share more about my story and my journey.

Ayodele: 2:55

And I guess it really started in, you know, as early as childhood And I remember being a very, very young child and experiencing some incredibly painful and traumatic experiences, and I also remember experiencing clinical depression from about the age of five. Now, obviously at the time I didn't know that that's what I was going through. I just remember being incredibly unhappy from a very, very early age And it wasn't until I was probably about 22 that I realized what I was experiencing and had been experiencing for as long as I could remember was clinical depression, and the only way that that kind of realization, that light bulb moment, happened was because I was researching for my undergraduate thesis at university And I was writing up my thesis on abolishing the stigmas and taboos attached to mental illness, specifically in relation to depression. Little did I know that I was actually experiencing it at the time. I just had a fascination with the mind. I had a fascination with mental health and I'd worked as a nursing assistant in a psychiatric hospital for a number of years while I was studying, and so I had this fascination with overcoming these challenges that people went through. I was reading this paper, this research paper, and it had a list of symptoms that people who experienced clinical depression would experience, and as I went down the list it was like check, check, like there's a list of like about 22 symptoms and every single one on that list I resonated with, and it was a bit of sweet moment because it was like, okay, well, now I know what it is.

Ayodele: 4:45

But it was also sad because if I'd have gotten some help or some recognition sooner, then I wouldn't perhaps have had to struggle and suffer for the amount of years that I had done, but I was a high functioning. I would, you know, had clinical depression, but I was high functioning And I hid it from my family and because I didn't want to be a burden you know there was already so much going, so much chaos going on in the family home. Adding this and, you know, talking about how unhappy I was felt like it was going to be a burden to my family. So I just hid it and I put on a smiley face and just carried on as if everything was normal. But inside I felt like I was, i was dying, and so I want to just be really kind of open and honest about how painful and how dark the journey got, if that's okay with you, because I think that it's only when you're truly authentic in your story and in your sharing that others can connect with you deeply and see that actually that's maybe where I am, or that's where I'm a couple of steps past that, but I was there And it helps them to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It doesn't have to be as dark as it is or it was forever. So I was, i became, you know, i was tormented with suicidal thoughts for many, many years, but I was able to defeat them and to battle them and to overcome them.

Ayodele: 6:07

But I got very close, and it was during that sort of same period of time when I realized that I was actually clinically depressed, that the suicidal thoughts were really, really bad, and it was almost like I had a fascination with it. And so I spoke to my mom one evening and it was one of the hardest conversations I've ever had And I told her you know, I don't know how there's no easy way to tell you this, but I just don't want to live anymore. And I felt like this for a really, really long time And obviously she broke down crying and we kind of spoke and we spoke for a number of hours and eventually I went to bed And then the next morning she went to see the doctor explain the situation. Within 45 minutes of her going to talk to them, i had a crisis team of psychiatrists, doctors, psychiatric nurses, social workers sitting in my living room downstairs ready to support me. So that was a really pivotal moment for me because I was getting the support that I needed. I didn't feel like it was the support that I wanted at the time because it was also. It all happened so fast, but it was a pivotal moment because it meant that change was on the horizon, something, even if the interventions that were going to be put in place were not the interventions that I wanted, because I have a very holistic approach to healing and I didn't want to be put on medication, but I was forced to. So I was put on medication and I took, you know, i was on antidepressant medication for about eight years And it was during that time that I really decided to dive deeper into okay, so what else is there?

Ayodele: 7:50

This is what I've been forced to do, but there has to be other modalities, there has to be other ways of managing this, there has to be other avenues. There has to be another way out of this darkness that doesn't involve being on medication for the rest of my life and, you know, kind of numbing out part of my experience of life. So I, you know, really dove into my own personal healing, the journaling, detox. I went on, you know, real cleanse of my body for about two years. I, you know, meditation dove really deeply into my spiritual practices as well in an effort to find a way out, and all of the things that I tried. They definitely helped and they definitely navigated me into a better place spiritually, mentally, emotionally.

Ayodele: 8:43

But I think the next key turning point in my journey was having my daughter. So becoming a mother, which was probably even perhaps I can't say that it was bigger or less than actually having that light bulb moment that I had and, you know, having those pieces of intervention put into place. But I know it was another pivotal shift in my journey because now I had another human being to look after and I identified that if I didn't do something to not just heal from the pain and the trauma and to overcome the depression, if I didn't fundamentally change the dysfunctional patterns that I was programmed with as a child, i was just simply going to pass the same pain, the same suffering, the same dysfunction, the same cycles on to her add in for an item and it would just continue and repeat until somebody in the bloodline decides it stops with me. So her coming into my life, she saved me and she was a catalyst for diving even more deeply into the healing. So that's when I dove even more deeply into my spiritual practices and, you know, learn and studied stuff about Abraham Hicks and the course in miracles and did some really powerful inner child healing and all of these steps. It's like the synchronicities were there and all of the steps are almost put into place that led me finally to the, the one piece that has three prongs. That I believe was the final piece that changed everything, which was learning and having the three modalities used on me to create the transformation that I now see today, which was the study of NLP, timeline therapy and hypnotherapy. And or even though all of those other pieces, the spiritual practice is a must, the yoga, the meditation, the breathing, you know, the, the healing, the inner child stuff all intrinsic.

Ayodele: 10:56

But the real, significant shifts happened when I learned how to reprogram and rewire the outdated and resourceful patterns that I was programmed with as a child and through, you know, traumatic events that would just continuously happening throughout my life. You become programmed in to respond in certain ways and it was through the reprogramming of those patterns that I feel that the most profound transformation and healing occurred. And it's been permanent and I have been. I haven't been on antidepressants for 13 years.

Ayodele: 11:37

I haven't had about a clinical depression for the same amount of time. I experienced pain, you know, experience grief when something happens and it's unexpected and bereavement happens. You kind of get knocked off your feet and life happens. But clinical depression is something darker than normal experiences of life. It's murky, it's heavy and it's relentless and it's unending and there's no break to it and that no longer happens. I have a normal response to pain now and I'm able to move through it and I'm able to use the techniques and tools that I have to make that process happen swiftly but still in an ecological and nurturing way. So in a nutshell, that is my backstory.

Angela : 12:25

So I'm sorry if I've rambled, but I hope that was, you know, useful to your listeners that because I won't be able to know that if they are in a dark place it doesn't have to last forever yeah, no, that was so beautiful, thank you, and so vulnerable, and I feel I mean I had chills when you were sharing your experiences and actually one of my daughters is experiencing something similar and, as a as a teenager, sometimes you don't want to listen to what your mother is telling you. So I can totally resonate with, like you saying that's not exactly what you wanted at the time, but it helped and I'm hoping for the same outcome. So, yeah, thank you so much for sharing. Really needs to be said more often that it's, you know, not something to hide and be shameful of. It's, you know asking for help and receiving help as strongest thing you can do.

Ayodele: 13:24

So thank you absolutely, and I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is struggling with that and you know, if you could pass the message on to her just to let her know that it it will get easier and it's something that some people are more susceptible to and there is help out there and that, if she can because you're a magical human being if she can trust you which I'm, you know she obviously has, because she shared that with you and what a beautiful opportunity for you know, the building of your relationship, that she trusts you with that and she feels that you're a safe place to go to. I think that's magical. You know. That in itself is healing and magical for both of you right now.

Angela : 14:05

Thank you so much. And yeah, i mean I had a similar experience as you where I've done a lot of other different modality mysticism, shamanism, all of these different you know modalities. But when I was in a really dark place and I actually had COVID and I was stuck in bed I started listening to. This was a few years ago NLP, hypnotherapy and like that is when all of the shifts started happening. It was just amazing.

Ayodele: 14:35

So oh my gosh.

Angela : 14:37

I. I don't know that much about NLP. I know that it's amazing and so I would love for you to like share with our listeners in case they're not super familiar. I'm more familiar with the hypnosis part of it, but I've heard I've learned a little bit about NLP, but I'm not an expert, so I would love for you to share okay, what?

Ayodele: 14:54

what questions do you have? what can I? what do you want me to tell? you don't just to kind of share what NLP is and how it helps people, or is there something specific you'd like me to speak more about?

Angela : 15:04

yeah, so when you're helping someone who is maybe an entrepreneur, for example, and they're having some kind of block, is NLP a good tool to use for that?

Ayodele: 15:17

absolutely, and it's are. You use a combination of NLP, timeline therapy and hypnotherapy. I'm an internationally certified trainer in all three modalities, so I use the techniques and the NLP. It more has its function in terms of linguistic processing understanding how people make sense of the world, their internal world and the world around them and then internalize the world around them and make sense of that. So, in a nutshell, nlp is the study of excellence and it's how thinking creates our behavior and then allows us to create behavior of excellence. So we use, we model and understand the way how people actually produce excellent behavior in themselves and then we utilize the way that they are able to present that sort of behavior. And then we will use techniques, very, very specific techniques to help linguistically change the way that the brain works.

Ayodele: 16:16

So it's perhaps is running on train tracks that take the person to an unresourceful and undesired outcome or location and in understanding, through the language that somebody uses, what internal mechanisms are going on in their brain, what processes are how they do the things that they do. How is it that they have an understanding of the world that they have and then working out okay? well, this is the understanding that they have. This is why that their brains currently running, these are the thoughts that they're having, which is producing ex-outcome. What do we now need to do in order to rewire that thinking, shift that thinking working primarily with the unconscious mind, and help them to change the patterns and programs to get a different outcome? so that process generally takes place after when I'm working with an entrepreneur. It will take place after I've done the timeline therapy, which is what I do to the kids.

Ayodele: 17:13

It's primarily the emotional clearing okay so a client will come to me and they are perhaps going through, or they've been through, trauma in their life. They know it affects the way that they show up in their life. They've tried maybe a number of different modalities and a number of different things to get outcomes and they still haven't seen the results that they want to to see in their life, in their business. And so it's at that point they realize well that there's something deeper here, there's something that I haven't managed to kind of pinpoint and get to. So what is it? and it's generally because there's stuff there that's, you know, clutter from the past, keeping them stuck in unresourceful thinking and resourceful behaviors and resourceful patterns, that they're not presenting that behavior consciously. It's all unconscious material.

Ayodele: 17:59

95 to 97% of what we do is unconscious right. So it's when you actually are able to work with somebody who can navigate the unconscious mind, understand how the unconscious mind works and understand the language that the unconscious mind uses, and then help to move them out of those unresourceful patterns, communicating with the unconscious mind, clearing all the mental clutter and the trauma and the pain from the past, and then moving forward to use some NLP techniques to help them to create the life that they want. So it's a very, a very deep dive into a human being and it's just assisting creating such a beautiful transformation. Because when you do the work at that deep level, which I'm sure you're aware of, it doesn't just impact on one thing in their life, it's like a complete transformation that happens and so many other things are impacted on because of the depth and the brevity that you go to in that work. So, yeah, i think I kind of Answered the question but didn't.

Angela : 19:02

But you know, if you want me to fine-tune it, then I'm happy to know that's perfect, because That's what I was going to ask you to is do you use all three modalities Together, or? yeah, that's what I was going to ask.

Ayodele: 19:15

So So probably yes, and I'll be in timeline therapy. I'll use perhaps NLP first in terms of linguistic tools to identify The programs and patterns that somebody is running in their mind, extract the data I'm like a linguistic analyst extract the data based on the words that somebody utilizes, because that's generally all unconscious Material unless it's been practice, which it normally isn't if I'm talking one to one with a client is just utterances that come. It's not practice, it's just furbished that people use but it tells you so much information That they're not even aware of. So it's kind of peeling back the layers, data mining, data collecting, linguistic analysis and then utilizing Those NLP structures and techniques of linguistics to identify what clearing needs to take place.

Ayodele: 20:05

What are the, what are the unconscious blocks that have presented themselves through the conversation that I have with the client? And it's simply through conversation and simply through the linguistic style that I use that these blocks Just become apparent, without the client even knowing that they're kind of giving me all this information. So then we identify those limitations, those unconscious blocks that are present, the trauma, and then we heal that using timeline therapy. Revert back to using some NLP and then, if needed, i'll use hypnotherapy to kind of just kind of seal the deal and put a nice little ribbon and a bow on everything at the end. So that's kind of the process that I go through.

Angela : 20:42

Nice, wow. And so can you give us a little description of timeline therapy. I had never heard of it before. I know I had read it for the first time when I looked at your website.

Ayodele: 20:52

So Yeah, time on therapy is one of the most powerful tools I have, and I've studied in the and worked in the field of personal development and you know psychiatry, mental health, for over 20, over 20 years and In that time it is one of the most powerful tools I have ever come across in terms of very, very swiftly Assisting somebody in clearing and letting go of pain and trauma from the past. And it's a process that uses visualization. It also uses a combination of a Light trance, so it's a combination of linguistics, nlp, hypnotherapy, so it's like everything kind of rolled into one, but it's incredibly powerful. It was created by dr Tad James in, i think, the early 70s maybe, and He's no longer with us, but he was the the original creator of timeline therapy. And You take somebody on a visual process with their perhaps their eyes closed, assist them in going back into the past and releasing negative emotions, assisting them in gathering Information from the unconscious mind that the unconscious mind wants the person to know in order for it to let go of the emotion That's being held on to.

Ayodele: 22:13

Now, the beauty, one of the beauties of timeline therapy is that it's emotion free. It's content free. So Even if you don't have conscious memories of the thing that you think you need to let go of, pain Around, or you don't want to necessarily go back to those traumatic memories. It's all done in the way that the technique is Facilitated and guided through. It's done So you don't have to necessarily relive those experiences. It's done in a way that is ecological, so you're maintained in an emotional state Where you don't have to dive straight back into that pain and relive a trauma that you went through. So it's done in a way that is really, i believe, nurturing and also ecological, and it helps people to, just in a matter of 10 minutes, let go of pain, let go of limiting beliefs, let go of limitations that have kept people stuck for things like I don't feel like I'm worthy, i don't deserve success, i, i'm not good enough, i could. You know things that are quite Ubiquitous that they, like it's so.

Ayodele: 23:20

Many people experience those sorts of limitations because of experiences that they've been through in their past, predominantly when they were children. So they've been holding and carrying these limitations from you know, five to three, seven years old, throughout their entire lives, contributing to the way that they show up in the world. And then, in a matter of you know 10 minutes, they're able to let these limitations go and that's when things just change. And that's when that people skyrocket.

Ayodele: 23:48

Because it's like you're walking through life and You've got a parachute on your back and parachutes all the clutter from the past and it's keeping you, it's stopping you. You're moving forward, but it's keeping you going at a slower pace and you're still getting there, but you've got all this baggage behind you and it's full of all the stuff in the past. And Timeline therapy is almost if you just cut the parachute strings because you're not falling. You're walking with a parachute and it's keeping you trapped. It's like you cut those parachute strings, you let go of all of that baggage and then you just move forward To where it is that you want to be and it is just.

Ayodele: 24:28

It's exquisite to be able to use. I teach it as a modality to people who want to train in it. It's exquisite to be on the receiving end of it and I'm also able to use it on myself. So whenever I go through you know painful experiences and I've got painful emotions to deal with. Just take myself through some timeline therapy and you just let go of it. So, yeah, it's, it's incredibly powerful.

Angela : 24:52

No, and I love that visual of like the parachute. That just makes so much sense. I love visuals like that. So, yeah, thank you for sharing that you're so welcome. So what would you say? and this is probably kind of a broad question, but I'd say like the biggest struggles you usually find and you mentioned some like feeling unworthy Are they're like a top three struggles that your clients usually have.

Ayodele: 25:19

Oh my gosh, there are so many of them, so so many I mean trauma and in a turmoil are definitely right up there. The mental clutter, the inner chaos. Negative self-talk is a huge one self-doubt, lack of self-belief, lacking confidence, low self-esteem, self sabotaging. You know, that's a huge one when it comes to and it's it's because it's all unconscious material, it's not something that they're doing purposely or consciously. I would also say that Perfectionism is another one that kind of stops people. It's kind of like procrastination but an acutor outfit, so it stops people from doing the things that they want to do Recycling painful experiences, dysfunctional patterns and habits. So I can't.

Ayodele: 26:11

I think that the inner turmoil, the mental clutter, the lack of internal peace, perhaps right up there at the top, and then there are just a list of others that really just related to Emotion, a lack of emotional peace and a lack of emotional freedom, a lack of self expression, that seems to be at the forefront, because all of those things stop you from showing up in the world in the way that you want to. We as business owners and entrepreneurs, our businesses, are extensions of us. So when we're not in an optimum state emotionally, mentally, spiritually, then the extensions of us, which are our businesses, which you know what we're talking about is being entrepreneurs. They won't be able to thrive in the way that they would if all of that clutter and chaos and lack of mental peace were not there. And you know that's so. Yeah, yeah.

Angela : 27:16

No, that's, and so I'm curious. So you walked us through a good part of like the their journey. So what does it look like? Is there a certain time or like length that people go through this journey? Or I'm sure it varies, but like just a, is there kind of like an average It?

Ayodele: 27:37

really depends on the specific presenting problem that they come to me to have help with There. If it's a real, perhaps a deep trauma that they've been through and it is impacting on a number of different areas of their life, they're aware that's affecting their business as well. I would say six months, and the reason it takes that amount of time is that the depth of the work that I like to go to it's kind of all encompassing, so it's not going to be a quick fix, even though the modalities, especially timeline therapy, is a quick process in terms of me gathering all of the information and doing the data collection. That's a process that needs to be done. From my perspective and other people, may, you know, do the work differently, but from my perspective, very detailed orientated person So I like to extract all of the information And that's what gives them the transformation that they get at the end of the work, because I can just do kind of like a surface level and deal with, you know, the presenting problems that are on the surface.

Ayodele: 28:46

That's not what my clients come to me for. They come to me for the deep and most profound and undeniable transformation And that's what I give them, and so that's why it's really deep work that we do And I there's also work that's done in between the sessions to facilitate that ongoingness of the transformation that occurs. So, from start to finish, i would say about six months, and it's one session every two weeks, so two sessions a month. So what's that like? maybe 12 sessions in total throughout the six months, if I've got that correctly. My math is not that great, so I'm just going to go with that. If I'm wrong, don't shoot me, but yeah.

Angela : 29:26

So yeah, even six months is short a period of time when you've been carrying around trial and trauma for your whole life. So like six months is not very long?

Ayodele: 29:38

Absolutely, i think it's, you know. I think it's a six months that is well spent and worth it, because the freedom, the emotional freedom that you experience in order for things that you're able to achieve as a result of experiencing and having that emotional freedom, it's, it is not nothing short of life changing. I'm just so. I feel so humbled and so honored to have been navigated to this gift, which I feel is my true calling on this planet.

Angela : 30:11

That's beautiful, i love that, and so is that what makes up your EMC squared personal mastery transformation program, or is that something different?

Ayodele: 30:23

Yeah, that is what makes up the, the transformation program. It's a. It's built on three significant and key pillars, which are emotional mastery, core self mastery and mindset mastery. So, emotional mastery, mindset mastery and core self mastery. So it's taking the client on a process of discovery, self discovery into themselves. And, you know, through the linguistic process that I take them through, they're discovering things about themselves that they didn't even know were there, because it's all coming up from the unconscious.

Ayodele: 30:59

So there's a real spiritual element to the work that I do which is really connected to the core self mastery. It's helping them and assisting them in connecting with parts of themselves, a that they didn't know were there. But they're also when they connect with their unconscious mind, which I see as a real connection to spirit. The unconscious is, to me, is it's the essence of who you are, and when you're able to connect and not only connect but learn how to communicate with that part of you, learn how to communicate in order to for it to be your North Star, for it to be your guiding source in life, that is a gift that they will go away with And, you know, if they're sensible and they continue to utilize and nurture that relationship with their unconscious mind, then it will serve them for the rest of their life.

Ayodele: 31:58

And so you've got the emotional mastery, which then comes into the clearing of the clutter and being in control of your emotional state, being in charge of choosing how you respond to things emotionally. So we're kind of doing that discovery, we're finding out what the challenges are, and then we're creating that deep level of transformation. So it's a very, very profound experience for me to be a part of, and it's not something that I take lightly at all. I feel really, really privileged to be in a position to create this level of, and facilitate this level of transformation at such a deep level that I do Yeah, i love that it's multi dimensional And it really just.

Angela : 32:45

I mean, it's like this is sounds like it's the person who's like enough is enough. I'm ready to just like live my best life and you know in every way. So I love that. It gives me the chills.

Angela : 32:56

Thank you so much, i love that And then not to switch gears too much on you, but I remembered seeing because I'm in the boss babe community And I saw an invite I think it was last year about one of the calls saying that you were teaching and I was like, oh my gosh, that's so exciting. So I would love to hear, like how that came about, what your experience was. And, yeah, Thank you.

Ayodele: 33:26

The experience of working with boss babe was possibly one of the most my most precious experiences that I've ever had, because I was able to reach and help thousands, hundreds of female entrepreneurs simultaneously And it was being able to give that gift of whatever is coming down through me being a vessel because it's not always me, I'm the vessel And I'm being given this opportunity to facilitate healing, And the more people that I can reach, the more of the gift I'm able to give, And that is just such a beautiful thing. I actually worked on a one to one basis with one of the owners of boss babe back in some years ago And that's how I was able to be brought into the circle, because she was familiar with my work and familiar with how powerful the work that I do is. And then I was invited to be the mindset, you know coach and support for the boss babe community, And it was just an incredibly humbling you know experience and really spoke to, really affirmed the power of the work that I was doing. And so, you know, based on all of the work that I had done with entrepreneurs and my understanding at that point of the entrepreneurial community and the specific challenges that they go through and the specific hurdles and roadblocks that they hit, the inability to show up as they want to, the imposter syndrome that people experience, the lack of belief in themselves, the belief that they don't deserve to be successful because of experience that they've been to. You know, my understanding about these challenges that aren't, that are quite unique to the entrepreneurial community helped me to be able to understand what the community needed, And so each call that I delivered, I would do a portion of teaching and then I would create a bespoke intervention, whether it was a meditation, a guided meditation or a therapy intervention or using some time line therapy technique to really facilitate healing on a mass scale.

Ayodele: 35:46

So they weren't just coming to necessarily learn, they were coming to heal And I was able to facilitate that and it was just such a magical experience to be a part of. It really, really was. And then, you know, I was also delivering hot seat coaching at the end of the call. So people were getting the group experience, they were getting that almost one to one experience with me as well, And I just left full. You know, every single call I was working with BossBabe for I think it was about 18 months And, yes, on a monthly basis. I was doing one of the mindset calls with the community And every single call I just left full, just full, full of just the having had the ability to give And it was just an absolute privilege.

Angela : 36:35

Wow. Well, yeah, and I think they, i think I heard this the other day that they are like the largest entrepreneurial, like women's group, so that's amazing, what an opportunity. And see, i didn't realize it was an ongoing thing. I had an. I thought it was just like you know, sometimes they'll bring in a coach for one session, and so I didn't realize it. Wow, that's amazing, congratulations.

Ayodele: 37:00

Thank you so much.

Angela : 37:01

That's, yeah, quite an experience, and so what have been some of your biggest challenges as an entrepreneur and coach?

Ayodele: 37:11

I think the biggest challenge that I've experienced have been the most painful experiences that I've been through my personal life. There haven't necessarily been business challenges, because it's like I mentioned previously. You know, as entrepreneurs, as business owners, our businesses are extensions of us. So it's when we're not in emotional vibration with the version of ourselves that we want to be we're not presenting, we're not pushing that energy into our businesses so our businesses don't flow. So when I'm experiencing trauma which still happens because I'm human partly and you know I'm spiritual, being, having a human experience, right, but I'm still living this time-space reality and I'm still going through this human experience and I still go through traumas And you know, over the past few years there've been a couple of bereavements that have happened and you know, very suddenly And it's when those things happen that I'm completely just knocked off my feet that I obviously will then experience challenging my business because I'm not able to emotionally show up in the way that I know I need to in order to successfully navigate my business. I am incredibly fortunate to be in a position to be able to navigate myself through some of these techniques that I've spoken about and to help me to move through those emotional blocks and help to move through the grief in perhaps a swifter way than somebody who doesn't have access to these skills, the skills or the techniques that I'm not able to facilitate myself through. I'm also fortunate enough to have connections in this morphogenic field that I'm in. In the community that I'm in, i've got access to people who are more than happy to help me.

Ayodele: 39:08

The tricky part is that when you're going through either going through a trauma or you're experiencing grief, you can't force it to happen quicker than the unconscious mind is prepared. For it to happen, the unconscious mind has to be ready to let go of the pain. So you, in your conscious mind, you're like, yeah, i'm ready to go now. My business needs me, people need me, i need to serve, i need to do the thing that I'm here to do Consciously and logically. That's where I want to be. Your unconscious mind may have a completely different idea or a completely different plan for you, so it's really having an understanding of the period of time that healing requires, just organically.

Ayodele: 39:55

And then, when the organic healing has taken place and it's the unconscious mind is ready to let go of the pain, that's when you will be able to do the processes to let go, because if the unconscious mind is not on board with you letting go of the pain, the techniques may not necessarily be successful.

Angela : 40:13

Right, that makes sense.

Ayodele: 40:15

So it's really the challenges, those personal challenges, and I mentioned to you privately that you know I've been, have recently been, going through a bereavement and that's one of the reasons why it took longer for me to become a guest and, you know, be here with you today. I'm glad that I've been able to, but it took me away from being of service and being able to show up in the way that I wanted to. I had to allow myself to go through that period of grief And now I wouldn't say I'm over it, because you know, the loss of that person is still a presence in my life, but it's, I mean, a much better place than I was. And it's a process, it's a journey. you know, healing is a journey.

Ayodele: 41:06

So, and I acknowledge that and I accept it and I just keep doing the work whenever challenging things come up with, whenever limitations come up with a, whenever blocks come up that I'm aware of, i acknowledge them and I do the work. And that is the one of the things that I feel has been fundamental to my success is my tenacity and my commitment to myself. my commitment to personal evolution, my commitment to personal mastery is, whenever I see stuff that needs work on it. if I'm able to, i do it, and if I'm not able to, i call on somebody else to help me to navigate me through those challenges. So I hope that answers your question.

Angela : 41:43

Yeah, no that, and I again I'm so sorry that you had to go through that and for your loss.

Ayodele: 41:49

Thank you.

Angela : 41:50

And it's such an important reminder, especially to entrepreneurs who are always pushing themselves. It's like give yourself that time to grieve, to heal. You know, I've seen so many people just like trying to push through, trying to take those Zoom calls or those interviews, and it's like just take time for yourself. So that's a great example for exactly the work that you do.

Ayodele: 42:12

So thank you so much. I think one of the things that can sometimes prevent especially entrepreneurs from stopping and just giving themselves the time to heal is they may not have funds. You know, as entrepreneurs, you know we feel like we've got to be doing, doing, doing to keep so that we don't lose everything that we've worked so hard for. I was in a fortunate enough position that I did have some capital so that I could give myself that breathing space, but not everybody's in that position, and so while it is essential for you to kind of take a step back sometimes, it isn't always possible. So I do understand why people just sometimes push through, but I think that it's an important message is that if you have the ability to take a step back, do and just give yourself the grace of time Right.

Angela : 43:08

Yeah, such a good point. That's a good point. Yeah, not everyone has that luxury, but if you can, definitely.

Ayodele: 43:16

Absolutely.

Angela : 43:18

And so I always like to ask my fellow mothers how you know, because motherhood can just be so hectic sometimes how do you stay mindful and grounded as a mother and entrepreneur?

Ayodele: 43:32

It's a whirlwind, isn't it? And we were just talking beforehand about, you know, all the things that we're doing as mothers behind the scenes. That isn't, you know, people aren't always privy to. I think it's, for me, one of the ways that I there's. There are some non negotiables that I have to do on a daily basis in order for me to, you know, to stay balanced and grounded.

Ayodele: 43:56

My daily, my morning routine, is a non negotiable. You know, doing my primitive gratitudes, communicating with my unconscious mind, do my course and miracles practice my meditations. At the end of the day, prayer, before you know I Reach my phone or anything else happens. Thank you for the internal words that I speak, saying a prayer of gratitude for the day that I've opened my eyes. You know, i believe that there are some things that, if I don't do, my life just doesn't work in the way that it's supposed to. So I would say meditation, absolutely 100%, communicating with my unconscious mind and continuing, like I said, to do the work whenever stuff comes up that I need to work on.

Ayodele: 44:44

And I guess one of the important things is just kind of being open with my daughter about what needs I have for my own personal space.

Ayodele: 44:54

So when she was mean she's 16 now, but when she was small, when I, you know, come home, pick her up from nursery or from school And as soon as I got home from close still working at the time I haven't always been an entrepreneur, you know, worked in education for a number of years pick her up, bring her home, settle her with something food or you know whatever she needed, and just say that you know I need to go meditate, just to kind of break my day and just ground myself so that I could be present in the evening for her, because if I'm just completely frazzled, just running around like a headless chicken all of the time, my energy that I'm giving to her is going to be stifled and suffocated and she's not going to get the presence of the mother that she deserves to have.

Ayodele: 45:39

So that was one of the non-negotiables when I was working or you know, things are a bit slower now but when I did have quite a chaotic and busy life. It's having that break and being open with her about what I need so that I can show up as the best version of me and the best version of a mother for her that I could be and being present in that experience with her.

Angela : 46:00

So yeah, Now that's beautiful, it's so important and a lot of moms, you know, feel guilty about doing that, but it's it actually, i feel like makes me a better mother when I take that time and sometimes I have a middle daughter who's eight and she'll just say, well, can I meditate with you? and she'll just sit quietly and you know, and then she says her little. I could hear her saying her little prayers and stuff.

Ayodele: 46:23

That's so cute. I know What do you do to ground yourself and to keep you know, balance. Obviously you've got meditation, but I'd love to know, like what, what you do as well.

Angela : 46:34

Yeah, so I wake up every morning at about five because I have a son who's three and a half and I have him pretty much 100% of the time. So it's like I really have to manage my time if I want to get that time in. So five am I do like really love Joe to spend as a meditations. I like to do those, and then we'll actually Right before I go to bed and when I wake up I say certain affirmations And so I guess that's kind of like is that what you mean by speaking to your unconscious, or did you mean something? Yeah?

Ayodele: 47:08

Speaking to my unconscious mind is I either use a pendulum to communicate with it, just to give gratitude for the way that it continues to keep my body healthy, continues to help me make the right decisions and guide my life and keep the choices that I make in alignment with my best outcomes, and my unconscious mind has a very distinct voice. In my conscious mind, i'm able to communicate. I've learned how to communicate consciously with my unconscious mind, so we have chat and we talk about anything we need to talk about. It might sound really weird to people listening, but there is a part of you that is your guiding force, and if I don't communicate and if I don't give thanks to that, then things just don't work out in the way that I need them to. So but yeah, sorry not to sidetrack from what you were talking about with your affirmations and speaking, your words of gratitude and things.

Angela : 48:02

Yeah, no, i love that. Actually, i'm the same. I can, i can hear it, but I have to be like in silence, even for just a few minutes. I like taking silence to like, yes, five minutes of silence, and then that's when a lot of messages come through for me. But I would say the meditation in the morning and then I'm in some certain like programs right now training, like some not super fun, they're more like sales and marketing.

Angela : 48:26

But I'll do necessary, yeah, necessary, i'll devote like 30 minutes of that And then I just have it like set. So I feel like I'm kind of getting those things done And then just having my time at night. I usually have from 8pm to 10pm and I, you know, will watch inspirational videos or meditate, or I have a certain meditation that I do to help clear energy every day. Yeah, and my affirmations which is funny because I say the same ones whatever I'm working on, and I'll wake up and not even be fully awake And my unconscious is already saying them Like it's just. I'm like whoa, that's just on autopilot, so that's kind of beautiful.

Ayodele: 49:09

It's already there, it's ready, it's primed and pumped and ready to go.

Angela : 49:13

Yeah, and then I do fall asleep with a very specific visualization about whatever I'm trying to bring into fruition and just feeling the emotions now, because that's what I like to do is feel as if it's already happened and it'll shorten the timeline.

Ayodele: 49:30

So I love that. I love all of that Amazing.

Angela : 49:34

Thank you. And then, yeah, just being honest or just having an open conversation with my kids about if there's something I need, like I need to just step away for a few minutes, you know, or I'll go in the backyard, or something like that. Yeah, thank you for asking.

Ayodele: 49:49

No problem.

Angela : 49:51

And so if someone listening is really interested in working with you, can you just share where they can find you online and then you know, I know you have the six month program or give and take and any other offers you'd like to mention, And I will link it all in the show notes as well.

Ayodele: 50:07

Fantastic.

Ayodele: 50:08

Thank you so much.

Ayodele: 50:09

So if somebody's genuinely in genuinely interested in working with me, what I would invite them to do is, if it's okay with you, i'll send you a link to one of my application for a breakthrough clarity session where we'll spend, you know, maybe about an hour just talking about what it is that they want to, what they're working towards, what are the challenges, what are the blocks, what are the obstacles that are coming up, and also to for me to identify what some of the unconscious material is that we would need to clear and give them an understanding about, perhaps some of the things that they may not be aware of, that are in their way, but that are there at the unconscious level, and then we would, you know, decide whether it would be the next right step for them to do this work with me, And so I will leave a link for that with you, and then I also have a online self-hypnotherapy training that's available, and then I've got a free audio for helping people to heal from past trauma, so I will leave the links for both of those with you as well, if that's possible, and if they want to connect with me on social media probably Instagram is the best place to get me at And my handle is Iodally Okoladi, which I will leave the link with you for that as well.

Ayodele: 51:29

So thank you for the opportunity to share those offerings with your audience. I really appreciate it.

Angela : 51:35

Yeah, of course, and thank you so much for coming on and sharing all of this. I know that the listeners are going to feel really inspired, so thank you.

Ayodele: 51:43

Thank you so much for having me.

Ayodele: 51:45

It's been an absolute joy speaking to you And it's been wonderful to get this opportunity to connect with you on this level, and I just really hope that the listeners will take something positive away from what I've shared And again, just kind of coming circle back to the beginning, realize that there is hope.

Ayodele: 52:01

You know, no matter where you are in your journey, there is hope And there is there isn't. I don't believe that there is anything about us that we can't change. If we have the desire to there, there is somebody out there who can help you to navigate from where you currently are to where you want to be, and it's just a matter of reaching out. And sometimes we just need to give ourselves permission to ask for help, and I think especially people who are very high functioning find it difficult to reach out for help when we need it, and I think sometimes you just need to give yourself the permission to do that And then things can change very, very quickly. So thank you for thank you for your energy and for your time And for having me as a guest on your show. I really appreciate you.

Angela : 52:45

Thank you so much for listening to the 5D CFO podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it and tag me on social media. You can find me at Angela Marie Christian on Instagram, facebook and TikTok. If you haven't purchased my best selling book, manifestation mastery, yet, it's priced at $0.99 on Amazon for the Kendall version.